Just Let Go
by Chel aka Elf Goldfish Cracker
Summary: Pippin is on the verge of death, and Merry is having trouble coping. read and review.
1. chapter 1

Just Let Go

Arwen Evenstar

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters that appear in this fanfiction. They all belong to JRR Tolkien. 

Note: Spoken words are like this "…" thoughts are like this '…' flashbacks are in between these ~*~*~*~

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I walk the streets alone and friendless. It is raining, the weather is matching my mood perfectly.

I am alone in the world. All my so-called friends have abandoned me. Frodo went to the Grey Havens long ago. Sam was deathly ill, and passed away years ago. Legolas and Gimli I haven't seen since we returned to the Shire, and the same goes for Aragorn. Gandalf hasn't been seen by me or any other hobbit in the Shire since Frodo left

. 

Pippin is ill, on the verge of death. The doctors have tried every remedy possible, alas, with no avail. They fear that Pippin has the same illness as Sam had. 

So I walk the streets of Hobbiton alone. The streets are empty and desolate, for none of the usual walkers are out and about. Not a single pony can be seen. I believe nobody wants to catch sick, for fear of death. 

Soon I approach the hobbit-hole I have come to dread. Bag End is falling into disrepair, for only Pippin and I inhabit it. Rosie and Elanor moved away soon after Sam's death. Bag End was left to us. 

I open the round green door and step quickly and quietly to Pippin's room. His breathing is shallow and raspy.

~*~*~*~

__

"Pippin?" I queried. Pippin wasn't at the door to greet me, like he usually was after my walk, and he wasn't in the bathroom, kitchen, or cellar either. I finally heard a noise coming from Pippin's bedroom. 

I opened the door and peeked inside the room. Pippin was lying on the bed, sobbing. 

"Pippin, what's wrong?" I asked. 

Pippin looked up from his sopping pillow. His eyes were red, and his hair was mussed. 

"Pippin?"

In a hoarse voice he answered me.

"I'm dying, Merry." He said. "I'm dying. I had a dream last night, and," here Pippin broke down completely and sobbed into my shirt. 

I embraced the younger hobbit tenderly. Soon I looked at him in worry as his sobs turned into hacking coughs. Pippin's body shook as the dry, rasping coughs wracked his body. Only then did I notice that he had grown much thinner and remembered that he seemed to be losing his appetite. 

~*~*~*~

"Pippin?" I look at the younger hobbit lovingly. Pippin stirred and I walked completely into the room. He was thin and skeletal. Only a brew made of kingsfoil plant was keeping him alive. Even so, he couldn't talk much, and ate only broth. 

~*~*~*~

  
_"Pippin, please tell me what's wrong! I can help you!" I sobbed. _

"I'm dying, Merry. I'm dying. You have to let go." Was all he'd say.

"Pippin, I love you! Don't say things like that! Please…" 

"I love you too, Merry. I love you, but you have to let go…"

"No," I whispered. "I'll find a way to keep you alive. I promise!"

~*~*~*~

That was a month ago. Now, on Pippin's wishes, we will stop giving him the brew that is keeping the flame of life kindled inside of him. Pippin will die soon.

~*~*~*~

__

Pippin signaled with his hands for something to write with. I gave him what he wanted. The quill scratched across the parchment. Soon, Pippin pushed his note over to me. Written shakily was this:

Merry, I love you. I'll always miss you. Please stop trying to keep me alive. I know you want to be with me as long as possible, but every breath I take is more painful than the last. You have to let me go. I love you…

~*~*~*~

Yesterday Pippin gave me that note. Now I watch as the pauses in between his breaths grow longer and longer. Tears cloud my vision as I see his chest rise and fall one last time. 

"Pippin!" I cry out in anguish. I lean over and kiss his cold lips. It seems to me a smile lingers on them, even in death. 

~*~*~*~

I'm running, running far away, tears streaming down my face. I trip, fall. A searing pain rips through my arm. Unable to move, and breathing in dirt, I lay on the grass, sobbing. Frodo, Sam, now Pippin! Why? 

~*~*~*~

__

When you laughed,

I shared your mirth.

When you cried,

I shared your tears.

When you were hurt,

I shared your pain.

When you were guilty,

I shared your turmoil

Now you're gone,

And I'll share the memories

Though pictures fade,

Their colors dull,

Memories last a lifetime.

~*~*~*~

I walk silently up the aisle. Nobody attended Pippin's funeral. Nobody except me. Nobody cares. As I gaze at Pippin's pale face one last time, a terrible emptiness fills my soul. A single thought fills my head.

'When your best friend dies, part of your soul dies.'

~*~*~*~


	2. chapter 2: notes

Just Let Go

Arwen Evenstar

The following are just some notes on mistakes that some of you caught.

I had no idea that Sam went over the Sea. In the ending of book 3, he goes back to the Shire. I didn't know that Elanor became one of Arwen's maids, or that Rosie died. I didn't know that Merry and Pippin saw Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn quite a bit. I didn't know that Merry and Pippin die at Gondor. Nobody attended Pippin's funeral because…they were afraid that whatever killed Pippin was contagious. And because I said so. 

I'm sorry for the mistakes. I had to post because I happen to be very self-critical and feel that an explanation is needed for my lack of knowledge about what happened after the War. *shrugs* I guess this could count as an alternate ending. 

~Arwen


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